Friday, October 29, 2010

3 Mistakes To Avoid When Dealing With Fear

Have you ever noticed how the more you push yourself in the direction of your GRANDEST visions with your gifts and talents, the voices of self doubt, disapproval and pure fear come to the surface like NEVER before?

Here are 3 BIG mistakes to avoid when dealing with this unsavory inevitable phenomenon and tips to head it off before it has a chance to rear it's ugly head.

1. Do NOT make the mistake of feeling that you are ALL ALONE in fear and frustration. I promise you that you are NOT! Piles of books have been written on this topic and fill entire walls of book stores, which attest to the fact that millions of people experience this exact thing in their creative lives as well.

Instead of allowing yourself to feel all alone and isolated, make a full commitment right now to reach out and find a community (an online community, a local entrepreneur's group, a group you start yourself), that you can become part of, so you can receive the support you need, and also so you can provide support to others. (Learn to dance the dance of co-operation with yourself and others)

I created the Chronicles of Artnia facebook page for all of you as an online community for exactly this purpose, so please utilize it. Ask each other questions, give each other feedback, make comments about your progress and success with the action steps I give in my FREE program, talk about your greatest heights, your obstacles, set backs, frustrations, fears and anything else you feel like sharing.

I encourage you to share the highlights and the frustrations! Both are the reality of owning your own business and sharing about both, is what will help you connect with each other the most, allowing you to inspire and support each other...thus the dance that is so crucial!

2. DON'T make the common mistake of allowing OVERWHELM to take over your life! Once overwhelm creeps in, the negative voices of self doubt really begin to HAUNT!

Again, a community can help provide needed support in this area. Also, learning to swallow your pride and ask for help can assist you greatly. For many years, I had a tough time asking for help with..well...with most all challenges. I felt I always had to be the stoic one, and find a way to solve any challenges or issues that came up, on my own, without any outside help. This is costly and can also lead to feelings of isolation.

Instead, reach for the phone and call on a friend, mentor or colleague's help. Or enlist help from a referral or craigslist. When you don't ask for help, you waste precious valuable time that could have gone to family, other passions or other business endeavors.

If you feel you don't have the money to hire help, there are many opportunities for bartering and even online bartering sites that can help you find someone who is willing and excited to do so.

3. Do NOT let confusion paralyze you! If you do it's over! END OF GAME! Often we reach a point where we don't know what to do or where to go next. When we have CLARITY we avoid this costly mistake. Make to-do-lists for yourself and be clear about your goals, what you plan to accomplish for the next 5 years, 1 year, next few months & for TODAY.

If you need help with setting up goals for yourself find a professional consultant or coach who can help you break your goals down into bite sized actionable steps and set you on your path to clarity and success. It does not have to be myself, but find someone to help you right away.

When we don't know what action to take NEXT, we chose to not take any action. DON"T allow yourself to get caught in this TRAP! Clarity and the ability to break your goals down into manageable pieces is at the crux of avoiding this ooy gooy pitfall. Stay out of the muck... AND as a BIG result...fear, negative voices, and daunting thoughts are less likely to inundate your head!

When these voices or negative, unproductive thoughts do make their way into your head, have a strategy for dealing with them, instead of just answering "Ahhh, OK, I'll take one lump, no make it two!"

Remember, "You don't have to believe everything your brain tells you." And I have learned that the best way for dealing with these thoughts, is to say "Ok, thanks for your input, I appreciate it, but I am dismissing your two cents now", and let go of it. Move on and laugh about it. The more you practice this the easier it gets.

Right now, it may seem like an impossible mission to reach the point of actually laughing in the face of these voices and toxic thoughts, but you can thwart their venom with a little work and dedication!

Extra Help
Working with a somatic counselor in this area can also be very powerful, if it is something you are struggling with and really want to nip in the bud once and for all.

Mia Runanin is a local counselor here in the Bay Area who does this kind of work and I believe she does phone sessions too, for those of you outside the bay area. Or find someone in your local community, if you prefer a face to face session.

Happy Trails & DON'T FORGET to check out your Branding worksheet on the blog here.


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